Well, so far - so good. I have created a more varied week for myself, taking my kids to free summer movies and the splash park. And I have noticed something with more acuity than ever before. I can have a flawless plan and an internal shift of awareness that leaves me standing open and ready to receive life's bounty but my experience of the moment is only as good as my ability to respond to my triggers. I have always assumed that I just have good days and bad days. I know that I, not my circumstances, determine my mood, but I have still seen this in broad strokes. Now I am realizing that there truly is an instant when a thought occurs, I am triggered and then I choose what happens next. Today I had web issues, a broken dishwasher and a freon leak in my car. Each one took a surprising hold on me and I took some time to see what exactly was being triggered that was preventing me from fully delighting in my morning at the park. I found urgency, lost opportunity, helplessness and self reproach. I invisibly and unconsciously accepted these feelings and was then on a mental mission to resolve them through action or insight. But what if instead, I reconditioned myself leaving that trigger ineffective life a button connected to nothing. That is my next experiment. I'll let you know how it goes.

This morning I sat down to do some computer work at the gym (while my son is still in the day care room) and the best location was in an unused spa area of the club. There was a cd playing massage and meditation music and I noticed the postivie impact on me. I immeditatle connected to times when I have taken time out for myself and let go. So, I must also remember that while I am off to disconnect the wires of my negative triggers, I will consciously create environmental triggers that make me feel great.